Wednesday, April 15, 2009

“My Birthdaughter Saved My Life”

This is the story of one of the birthmothers I have met over the last few weeks.
I grew up in a single parent home. While I love my mom more than life, it was hard growing up without a dad. When I was a teenager I was so mad at my dad I hung around older guys and men who had more messed up stories than I did. I thought: “hey I'm protected and they must care about me because they sleep with me and give me all kinds of attention.” Getting pregnant was like cold water splashed on my face. When I found out I was pregnant it was like the world was crashing down on me.
I gave birth to my beautiful treasure in November of 2006. I had complications in the end of my pregnancy and she came almost 6 weeks early. When I woke up [after my cesarean] and was able to move, they wheeled me in to see [my] sleeping little girl. Well she ended up getting sick and had to transfer to a different hospital so her stay was about two weeks.
I did what I promised I wouldn’t do: I grew attached to her and I wanted to keep her.
But keeping an open mind, I still looked at adoption books and I found a couple I really liked a lot. My case worker called me the next day and said they really wanted to help me in this choice that I was going to make whether I kept her or not. So we talked for a few hours and in my heart I knew that this was the right couple to be my daughter’s parents.
So the next week I had her in my arms and I came into the adoption agency and placed my daughter in her a mommy’s arms. They fell in love with her. They love her so much to this day. I found her father and for the good of our daughter we both terminated our rights together.
Even though I placed her for adoption, I’m still a part of her life so I couldn’t do those things [of my past] anymore. I thought, what is she going to think when she finds out I did all this stuff? Every choice I make I always try to ask myself: what would she say if she found out about this? Having a child made me grow up. I want her to be proud of me.
This year will be three years that I have been a birthmom. And so far everything is going really well. I still have good contact with my birthdaughter. In no uncertain terms, she saved me.

1 comment:

Miki said...

Hi (:
Thank you so much for sharing.
I can not imagine what it was like but I hope that when I adopt I will be able to have a relationship with the birth mom as well. We are all connected right?